Biblical Family Order
"Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord ." (Joshua 24:14-15 ESV)
God sets order to the every member of the family unit throughout scripture. Without order, the home will be a place of confusion, strife, and chaos. In the scripture above, it seems as if Joshua was confidently stating that he and his entire household would be serving the Lord. How could Joshua confidently speak on behalf of his entire family? He was the head of his household and biblical order was set in place. The Word of God is an amazing tool for setting order to every part of our life so that we can be in alignment with God's will. Scripture is not just useful for ministry classes and Sunday sermons, but is also great for practical life situations, including creating a godly household.
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3 ESV) "
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." (Ephesians 5:22 ESV)
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6 ESV)
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching" (Proverbs 1:7-8 ESV)
Message to the Husband: Follow Christ and lead your wife by example
Message to the Wife: Submit and trust your husband as he leads you like Christ
Message to Both Parents: Direct your children to Christ at a young age
Message to the Children: Listen to your parents as they teach you the ways of the Lord
Message to the Wife: Submit and trust your husband as he leads you like Christ
Message to Both Parents: Direct your children to Christ at a young age
Message to the Children: Listen to your parents as they teach you the ways of the Lord
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians:5:25-33 ESV)
When you enter a covenant marriage you are declaring that you are now one flesh. This means that everything you do will now directly affect your spouse and your children. It's a husband's job to love his wife as Christ loves the church. This means that husbands are called to die to their selfishness because as the head of the household their decisions should be made according to what is best for the entire family, not just themselves. The wife is called to respect her husband and trust his guidance when he is in alignment with God. Husbands set the tone for the house and should give their wives and children something to respect and submit to.
The wife of the house is called to submit to her husband. However, the word "submit" doesn't mean they are forced to agree with everything, have no opinions, have no influence, or follow their husband before following Christ. Wives should partner with their husband in decision-making, make suggestions, and overall be a supportive pillar for the family alongside their husband. A wife's biblical submission should be based on trust and respect towards the position and responsibilities the husband must fulfill as the head of the house. If the husband is not effectively leading his wife or family towards God, his wife should step in and help carry the load as his help-mate. Marriage is about working together and lifting one another up.
The wife of the house is called to submit to her husband. However, the word "submit" doesn't mean they are forced to agree with everything, have no opinions, have no influence, or follow their husband before following Christ. Wives should partner with their husband in decision-making, make suggestions, and overall be a supportive pillar for the family alongside their husband. A wife's biblical submission should be based on trust and respect towards the position and responsibilities the husband must fulfill as the head of the house. If the husband is not effectively leading his wife or family towards God, his wife should step in and help carry the load as his help-mate. Marriage is about working together and lifting one another up.
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. (Proverbs 12:4 ESV)
When the wife is out of order, the husband and entire household will be negatively affected. A husband who feels disrespected is more likely to grow distant and cold which will lead to him not fulfilling his responsibility of loving his wife as Christ loved the church. Young children who witness their parents disrespect one another are more likely to develop disrespect towards authority figures and relationships later in life.
"But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:6-9 ESV)
If you want to maintain a godly household its your job to love and honor your spouse, serve one another, set a godly example for your children, and fight for your marriage and family through hard times. Always remain in prayer, always operate in the fruits of the Spirit, and always look to scripture for guidance.
raising & Disciplining godly Children
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4 ESV)
You can discipline your children without provoking them to anger by choosing your words and actions carefully. It's the job of the parents to train their children to follow the Word of God and live in obedience to it. Lack of discipline will promote a sense of entitlement and rebellion towards authority figures. If a child is not taught to obey or respect their parents, chances are they will show little to no respect for anyone else in life. By not disciplining children, parents are preparing them to operate in selfishness, disregard the fruits of the Holy Spirit, and fail in adulthood. If we want children with godly character, we should set the example by being parents with godly character.
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:4-9 ESV)
The word of God tells us to us to constantly love God with all of our heart, soul, and might. It also tells us to teach out children to do the same. This means that we should be living godly lives daily, not just on Sundays for church services. Parents, correct your children when they do wrong and follow Christ to the best of your ability to set the right example for them. When it comes to training your children, your actions will speak louder than your words.
Home Atmosphere & Church Involvement
The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? (1 Timothy 3:1-5 ESV)
The scripture above talks about the qualifications of those who desire to serve in church leadership, but the last verse places a priority on the family. This is because your house is the first "church" you are called to lead and your family is the "congregation" you should prioritize. For most people church is just once or twice a week, but for those who serve in leadership it can be a daily, time-consuming, emotionally-draining and frustrating lifestyle. It's okay to take a break every once in a while for yourself or family.
It's important to prioritize church as a household and attend regularly; however, at the top of the priority list should be the spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical well-being of the family. If the household is not in order, the church will not be in order. Yes come to church, support events, volunteer, and actively participate in ministry, but not at the expense of your family! Choose to create a church-like environment in your home for times when church attendance may not be the top priority. You can create a godly atmosphere in your home by playing worship music throughout the day, placing scriptures or Christian artwork on the wall, and setting home guidelines and healthy boundaries. Set a designated time for family prayer or Bible Study regularly. You carry the Holy Spirit inside of you, so you are the church wherever you are.
It's important to prioritize church as a household and attend regularly; however, at the top of the priority list should be the spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical well-being of the family. If the household is not in order, the church will not be in order. Yes come to church, support events, volunteer, and actively participate in ministry, but not at the expense of your family! Choose to create a church-like environment in your home for times when church attendance may not be the top priority. You can create a godly atmosphere in your home by playing worship music throughout the day, placing scriptures or Christian artwork on the wall, and setting home guidelines and healthy boundaries. Set a designated time for family prayer or Bible Study regularly. You carry the Holy Spirit inside of you, so you are the church wherever you are.
Pray For Your Family
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Edification & Encouragement
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17 ESV)
With dedication, prayer, and obedience, your marriage and family could be completely transformed. Although no family will ever be perfect, we should strive to do out best when it comes to seeking the Lord and following His Word. When facing difficult issues with your spouse, children, or extended family, you should speak to your pastor or seek professional counseling to help resolve issues and always look to the Word of God for wisdom.
